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» Comics - Chapter 3 - 08 - May 8th, 2011, 1:47 am

Average Rating: 5.00

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Author Comments:

beasthunt, May 8th, 2011, 1:51 am

- Awww :(
I had this stupid page ready for like a week now but my scanner decided to go emobish at me and I had to find some time to reinstall whole laptop system to MAKE it finnaly run...
Geez canon scanners are sheet, don't buy :(
Also the scaning quality dropped for some reason X__X (this page looks way better rl eh :( )
But shit happens D: <3

Please correct mah english if you see some critical grammar fail XD;
I had script translated by Pedes ( <3 ) but I decided to change some panels and I IMPROVISED with english there haha~

Take care, next up within a week, since scanner works it's the matter of drawing it now XD;

Advertisement, August 23rd, 2019, 7:30 pm

-

beasthunt, May 18th, 2011, 9:13 pm

Notice about update - Coming this weekend.
Sorry for delay but got huge storyboarding assigment D;
Hugs!

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Reader Comments:



 

I think in panel 3, something like "This thing looks really old!" would sound more natural. Maybe also replace "thing" with "place"? That depends on Astir's speaking style.

Does Astir even remember what the mushrooms look like?

posted by eishiya on May 8th, 2011, 1:56 am



 

Well, in the panel where it says 'this thing is surely old' I think it should be 'this thing is sure old' In the last panel, instead of 'gona' it's double n 'gonna'
Other than that, perfect!
I live in England, so it may be different in America, but I don't think so.
Thank you for posting another page, I love this comic <3

posted by hollytoto (Guest) on May 8th, 2011, 2:15 am





 

Well, if you would want your text to flow a bit freer (two of the sentences seem a little outdated) then you could change "This thing surely looks old!" to "Wow! This thing sure looks old!"; and "Since you seem to have time for sightseeing, then maybe give up already and go back home--" to "Since you seem to prefer sightseeing over the competition, then maybe you should just give up and go home--"

but it's nothing critical and the pages can be read :)

Another beautiful page as always!

posted by Sumanina on May 8th, 2011, 3:19 am



 

YES!
GRZYBOR POWER!
Proponuję Astirowi poszukać we wnętrzu budynku. Jest to pomysł w sam raz na jego poziomieXD

posted by zosiacchi on May 8th, 2011, 6:03 am





 

lol oh how dirty that he knows the area. XD

posted by MaliceJay on May 8th, 2011, 11:52 am





 

I'm not sure why people's giving so many suggestions for changing that one line of text. :/ The only problem is the "ly" that shouldn't be there. Just "This thing sure looks old!"
I think the rest is okay, but this part would sound better with "you should" added in, like, "then maybe you should give up already". It's because it sounds a little off without a subject mentioned. (oh, and I agree with the person above who said that you spell gonna with two n's.)

I get the feeling Astir'll end up going somewhere he shouldn't and then they'll have to fight some monsters. ...or maybe not. But, I can't help think he'll get them in trouble somehow.

posted by Asj on May 8th, 2011, 1:55 pm



 

I agree with the suggestions in the comments by Asj and hollytoto:

surely--> sure
gona--> gonna

---

I like how smug Jidai's expression is in the last panel.

posted by AGarmentOfWings (Guest) on May 8th, 2011, 10:47 pm





 

weeeee~! another page! improvised engrish rules ^^

posted by Sturmir on May 9th, 2011, 3:18 pm





 

When this comic gets turned into a video game (I KNOW IT WILL) this will be a cool level. "Pick thirty orange mushrooms before Astir does! Try not to get too close or he'll kick you in the balls!"

posted by MadyPPalwaysbesty on November 27th, 2011, 11:40 pm



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